Oficially speaking, monday 9th august was the first day of the second semester at the Universidade Federal de Santa Catarina (or oofski as the locals confusingly refer to it). By this stage i had acheived the following;
-found a place to live
-found the Uni
-registered at the Uni
-sorted out bus pass/meal card etc
-met a load of nice (if mainly international) people
-learnt some portuguese
However my to do list was still extensive;
-work out my timetable (this involved deciphering the university list which was helpfully written in morse code)
-learn capoeira (or other traditional Brazilian art form combining martial arts and with dance)
-go to the beach
-learn to kite-surf
-learn more portuguese
As far as i see it, the last item on my to-do list could be acheived in one of three ways
option a) Find a beautiful brazilian girl who truly loves me and embark upon a deep and meaningful relationship, culminating in our wedding in Rio de Janeiro around the time of the 2014 world cup in Brazil.
option b) Find a beautiful brazilian girl who is only interested in me in order to get a British passport, but who will be able to teach me some portuguese in the short term
option c) Buy a better book
With this in mind, I arrived at the University at 10am on the monday morning. Sadly my first port of call was a foreign students meeting containing neither hot young brazilian girls nor books. I assume the point of this meeting was to offer words of support and advice, whilst providing the crucial information for our 5 month stay. Without being overly critical, the fact that neither me nor any of my mates understood a single word, may have gone some way to undermining these aims.
There was however one brilliant moment in the meeting. A friendly little middle-aged woman, had just started speaking when a man who is clearly a 'big dog' in the Uni (judging by the size of his moustache) strolled into the room, took the microphone andd pushed the little woman off the stage. Apparently still drunk from the night before, he proceeded to give a slurred and completely unintelligable 2 minute speech and then left. His colleagues, who obviously understood what he was going on about, or who were worried about keeping their jobs applauded loudly.
We were then told the rest of the week was for choosing and signing up for courses. Having effectively done this before my arrival, i thought that all that was left was the formality of going to the department and saying 'ola'. I had of course forgotten that this is Brazil. On getting to the relevant offices i was told that all my courses were either cancelled or that the lecture responsible 'foi embora'. This is a very brazilian expression but here it can be taken to mean 'pissed off without telling anybody.'
In spite of this setback i was able to sign up for three different units; Brazilian History, History of cinema and Futsal (indoor football). I was warned that departments didn't really like international students, but apart from one grumpy sports coach who tried to hit me when i asked where the sports hall was for the 4th time in 3 days, people were generally very friendly.
Special mention must however go to the man in the cinema office who sent our group into hysterics by taking out a magnifying glass to study our enrollment forms in great detail. Given that his passion is film it seems unfortunate to say the least that he has such bad eyesight (he was also wearing glasses). There is no doubt we'll be keeping an eye out for Inspector Gadget (as my mate Giovanni aptly named him) and his vision enhancing equipment around the campus. It would make my year to see him whip out the mangnifier to study the menu in the uni restaurant.
This week also saw the start of a series of nightly 'festas' on the university campus. I intend to keep to the promise i made in my first post about cringe alcohol related stories. Lets just say the combination of 3 beers for 2 quid and numerous caipirinhas sorted us out. I only tried to board a 3am coach to Rio once. In very american college style, people gathered in huge groups from 10pm in front of live music or a dj and go on drinking until 3 or 4am when the music stops until some kid pumps out that 'yolanda be cool' song at full blast from his car. I don't mean to sound critical...its a massive tune.
On a rare night without one of the aforementioned festas, we managed to find our way down to Lagoa, a Floripa nightlife hotspot, and without doubt the most beautiful place i have visited so far (i'll try and upload a photo at somepoint but if you google lagoa de conceicao floripa you'll get some idea).
Our destination was a sushi restaurant, a choice i couldnt help but feel was like going to India and ordering snails. In spite of this the sushi was great and the cocktails better. We hit another bar before heading home.
Estimated time until next visit to lagoa: 48 hours max
zero classes, many festas and some legend with a magnifying glass.
Not bad for the first week of term....
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The good, the bad and the stuff in between
My first few days on the beautiful (if unbelievably cold and rainy) island of Florianopolis were marked by several important discoveries.
Discovery 1: People in Brazil can't speak English.
This threw a spanner the size of Africa into the works, as my usual policy is to attempt a few words in the local tongue, and then revert to English whilst smiling ruefully as if to say 'at least i tried.' Given that my armoury of vocab consisted of two phrases, namely 'bom dia!' and 'sou ingles, nao falo portugues' I was forced to put my complete trust in a small book claiming to be an essential guide to learning brazilian portuguese. Because i bought the book from Waterstones (a company i have come to trust and admire in equal measure) I threw it straight in my case and didn't open it until my arrival. In retrospect this was a fairly moronic course of action as the book turned out to be utterly useless, as the author himself would have discovered had he actually been to Brazil before publishing.
Discovery 2: Brazilian hotels don't beleive in heating
Given the frosty conditions we encountered on our arrival, Sophie and I were hoping to warm up and relax in the hotel room. Therefore on entering the room and finding icicles forming on the inside of the window, i went down to reception to ask how we could switch the heating on. The friendly man behind the desk gave me a quizzical look and told me he couldn't help. At first i thought it may have been a language issue (see discovery 1) but after a fifteen minute conversation involving several hand gestures and a large amount of Spanish, I established that there was no heating in the room. I was however invited to make use of the air conditioning unit, i guess in case i found the 4 degree temperature unbearably hot.
Discovery 3: In Brazil you have to pay a fine for being foreign.
At airport security in Sao Paulo i was informed that i would have to visit the Federal Police in Florianopolis within 30 days of my arrival. This immediately conjured up certain images in my mind; handcuffs, interregations in empty warehouses, that chair Daniel Craig gets strapped to in Casino Royale...you get the picture. The reality however was entirely different. A friendly young woman took my details and figerprints whilst giving me tips about the best clubs on the island. The only negative aspect of the experience was having to pay $R200 (about £100) to the police as a fine for being foreign. Take note David Cameron, I think i've found a way out of the recession and its in Birmingham.
Discovery 4: Doing thorough research into housing pre-arrival is a very good idea.
Conversely, turning up and hoping for the best is not. In the four days we spent house hunting we saw a series of pretty bad places. It didn't help that in Brazil 'close to the university' actually means 'fucking far from the university' and that 'room ideal for students' actually means 'tiny, windowless room with no bed, desk, cupboard.....'or anything else.
Having read the paragraphs above dear reader, you could be forgiven for getting a fairly negative impression from my first few days, and i will admit at this stage it did not feel like i had just stepped into paradise
However as a wise man once said 'women are like buses' (with women representing good fortune in this case). On saturday the sun came out. We got into contact with a lady named Sonia, who picked us up from our hotel and took us to her amazing house 5 mins walk from the uni. Having seen the bedrooms (with tv, bathroom et al) the monkey-inhabited garden, the outhouse with kitchen and barbecue and the huge rear balcony, it took us about 30 seconds to decide to live there, and another ten minutes to try and explain so in portuguese.
We then headed to the mainland to see my newly acquired Brazilian team Figuerense complete a crushing 5-0 victory, putting them in a great position for top spot in the league. What the quality of football lacked, the atmosphere in the stadium and the skol beer more than made up for.
The day was rounded off with a trip to the centre, where me and some fellow 'gringos' found an authentic little pizzeria (the head waiter had a moustache) in an unusually quiet part of town. We found out subsequently that this may have been in part down to its notoriety for drug addicts and transvestites. The pizzas and obligatory caipirinhas went down like a treat and we even tried a local speciality of white chocolate and passion fruit pizza. Delicious and disgustingly sickly in equal measure. I think we managed 2 slices between 5 people.
Things were looking up
Discovery 1: People in Brazil can't speak English.
This threw a spanner the size of Africa into the works, as my usual policy is to attempt a few words in the local tongue, and then revert to English whilst smiling ruefully as if to say 'at least i tried.' Given that my armoury of vocab consisted of two phrases, namely 'bom dia!' and 'sou ingles, nao falo portugues' I was forced to put my complete trust in a small book claiming to be an essential guide to learning brazilian portuguese. Because i bought the book from Waterstones (a company i have come to trust and admire in equal measure) I threw it straight in my case and didn't open it until my arrival. In retrospect this was a fairly moronic course of action as the book turned out to be utterly useless, as the author himself would have discovered had he actually been to Brazil before publishing.
Discovery 2: Brazilian hotels don't beleive in heating
Given the frosty conditions we encountered on our arrival, Sophie and I were hoping to warm up and relax in the hotel room. Therefore on entering the room and finding icicles forming on the inside of the window, i went down to reception to ask how we could switch the heating on. The friendly man behind the desk gave me a quizzical look and told me he couldn't help. At first i thought it may have been a language issue (see discovery 1) but after a fifteen minute conversation involving several hand gestures and a large amount of Spanish, I established that there was no heating in the room. I was however invited to make use of the air conditioning unit, i guess in case i found the 4 degree temperature unbearably hot.
Discovery 3: In Brazil you have to pay a fine for being foreign.
At airport security in Sao Paulo i was informed that i would have to visit the Federal Police in Florianopolis within 30 days of my arrival. This immediately conjured up certain images in my mind; handcuffs, interregations in empty warehouses, that chair Daniel Craig gets strapped to in Casino Royale...you get the picture. The reality however was entirely different. A friendly young woman took my details and figerprints whilst giving me tips about the best clubs on the island. The only negative aspect of the experience was having to pay $R200 (about £100) to the police as a fine for being foreign. Take note David Cameron, I think i've found a way out of the recession and its in Birmingham.
Discovery 4: Doing thorough research into housing pre-arrival is a very good idea.
Conversely, turning up and hoping for the best is not. In the four days we spent house hunting we saw a series of pretty bad places. It didn't help that in Brazil 'close to the university' actually means 'fucking far from the university' and that 'room ideal for students' actually means 'tiny, windowless room with no bed, desk, cupboard.....'or anything else.
Having read the paragraphs above dear reader, you could be forgiven for getting a fairly negative impression from my first few days, and i will admit at this stage it did not feel like i had just stepped into paradise
However as a wise man once said 'women are like buses' (with women representing good fortune in this case). On saturday the sun came out. We got into contact with a lady named Sonia, who picked us up from our hotel and took us to her amazing house 5 mins walk from the uni. Having seen the bedrooms (with tv, bathroom et al) the monkey-inhabited garden, the outhouse with kitchen and barbecue and the huge rear balcony, it took us about 30 seconds to decide to live there, and another ten minutes to try and explain so in portuguese.
We then headed to the mainland to see my newly acquired Brazilian team Figuerense complete a crushing 5-0 victory, putting them in a great position for top spot in the league. What the quality of football lacked, the atmosphere in the stadium and the skol beer more than made up for.
The day was rounded off with a trip to the centre, where me and some fellow 'gringos' found an authentic little pizzeria (the head waiter had a moustache) in an unusually quiet part of town. We found out subsequently that this may have been in part down to its notoriety for drug addicts and transvestites. The pizzas and obligatory caipirinhas went down like a treat and we even tried a local speciality of white chocolate and passion fruit pizza. Delicious and disgustingly sickly in equal measure. I think we managed 2 slices between 5 people.
Things were looking up
Friday, August 20, 2010
A train and two planes....and a car 3/8/2010
My aim is to do a weekly update, but I have decided to allocate an entire post to the journey given its importance. I certainly wouldn't be where i am today without it.
I arrived at Heathrow by myself via the heathrow express as my family are still on holiday in Mallorca, and i met up with my travelling partner Sophie (also from bristol) whose parents had bothered to come back from holiday to wave her off.
As TAM, the fine purveyours of travel in and out of Brazil insist on check in 3 hours before take off, we had time to relax and get a pret a manger (probably not what i'd planned to have as my last meal in england for 5 months, but they do make a cracking chicken sarnie)
Our overnight flight was completely packed meaning i couldnt sit next to sophie (probably just as well cos she's a snorer) and i was instead sandwiched between a friendly Brazilian grandmother, with an apparent liking for graphically violent films, and a young Brazilian guy from Salvador with great chat, but a tragically small bladder given that he had to wake me up every time he needed to got to the loo.
Hours slept - 5
Portuguese words attempted - 12
Brazilian cuisine sampled - 0
We landed at 5.30am local time, and after finally getting through security (with a very dissapointing stamp for the passport) we got our connecing flight to Floripa.
This flight was much more relaxed, and after again succesfully escaping from sophie, i found myself between an English guy who assured me he was going to a poker tournament 'just to write about it' which i guess is similiar to assuring someone you're going to brothel 'just to watch' and a very friendly Floripan named Ronaldo. With a grin he informed me that i was coming to the island at completely the wrong time of year.
Cheers mate.
2hours later, having eaten 2 slices of crispy toast with a delicious condiment pretending to have something to do with guava, we landed in Floripa in beautiful sunshine and 35 degree heat. We headed straight for the beach where we frolicked in the sand and sipped ice cold caipirinhas
Well thats what should have happened. In fact we stepped off the plane into icy winds and driving rain .
Ronaldo, now firmly my first brazilian mate, kindly offered us a lift to our hotel on the other side of the island.
Having seen the film 'Taken' with Liam Neeson i was initially a bit cautious, but after weighing up certain cold and rain against potential kidnap, drugging and sale into the sex trade we climbed into the car.
We got to our Hotel, called 'Slaviero' at about 10am in time for our first brazilian 'cafe da amanha' or 'brekkie' which involved cereal, toast and coffee. I had been warned about culture shock before i left the UK but this was beyond anything i had imagined.
The year abroad had begun.
I arrived at Heathrow by myself via the heathrow express as my family are still on holiday in Mallorca, and i met up with my travelling partner Sophie (also from bristol) whose parents had bothered to come back from holiday to wave her off.
As TAM, the fine purveyours of travel in and out of Brazil insist on check in 3 hours before take off, we had time to relax and get a pret a manger (probably not what i'd planned to have as my last meal in england for 5 months, but they do make a cracking chicken sarnie)
Our overnight flight was completely packed meaning i couldnt sit next to sophie (probably just as well cos she's a snorer) and i was instead sandwiched between a friendly Brazilian grandmother, with an apparent liking for graphically violent films, and a young Brazilian guy from Salvador with great chat, but a tragically small bladder given that he had to wake me up every time he needed to got to the loo.
Hours slept - 5
Portuguese words attempted - 12
Brazilian cuisine sampled - 0
We landed at 5.30am local time, and after finally getting through security (with a very dissapointing stamp for the passport) we got our connecing flight to Floripa.
This flight was much more relaxed, and after again succesfully escaping from sophie, i found myself between an English guy who assured me he was going to a poker tournament 'just to write about it' which i guess is similiar to assuring someone you're going to brothel 'just to watch' and a very friendly Floripan named Ronaldo. With a grin he informed me that i was coming to the island at completely the wrong time of year.
Cheers mate.
2hours later, having eaten 2 slices of crispy toast with a delicious condiment pretending to have something to do with guava, we landed in Floripa in beautiful sunshine and 35 degree heat. We headed straight for the beach where we frolicked in the sand and sipped ice cold caipirinhas
Well thats what should have happened. In fact we stepped off the plane into icy winds and driving rain .
Ronaldo, now firmly my first brazilian mate, kindly offered us a lift to our hotel on the other side of the island.
Having seen the film 'Taken' with Liam Neeson i was initially a bit cautious, but after weighing up certain cold and rain against potential kidnap, drugging and sale into the sex trade we climbed into the car.
We got to our Hotel, called 'Slaviero' at about 10am in time for our first brazilian 'cafe da amanha' or 'brekkie' which involved cereal, toast and coffee. I had been warned about culture shock before i left the UK but this was beyond anything i had imagined.
The year abroad had begun.
A little explanation...
As the title of the blog suggests, i shall be spending the majority of the next year of my life in S. America or more specifically, at University in Florianopolis Brazil and working in Buenos Aires, Argentina. The blog is mainly for my own benefit (just as well because im guessing not many people are going to read it), as a way to remember the year but also to test out my writing tekkers, as i am still toying with the idea of journalism.
I shall try and keep the content as interesting as possible, and i promise to try and cut down on stories such as 'maaate, i drank a load of brazillian beer, and then i was sick all over myself, and then i drank some more beer' or 'then i met the local tribal chief, and after communicating with him through the medium of capoeira, i now have a completely different outlook on life.'
so with that in mind i hope you enjoy it and of course feel free to send any constructive criticism to
youtryandwriteabetteroneyousnob@hotmail.com
much love
simon
I shall try and keep the content as interesting as possible, and i promise to try and cut down on stories such as 'maaate, i drank a load of brazillian beer, and then i was sick all over myself, and then i drank some more beer' or 'then i met the local tribal chief, and after communicating with him through the medium of capoeira, i now have a completely different outlook on life.'
so with that in mind i hope you enjoy it and of course feel free to send any constructive criticism to
youtryandwriteabetteroneyousnob@hotmail.com
much love
simon
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